As 2015 has come to a close and I look at 2016 and all of its possibilities…
I want to say thank you to all of my readers and subscribers for being with me on this crazy journey I call life… With out you the blog would not be..Thank you for hanging around for the last 2 years!!. I hope every post I am not boring you to tears (haha).
As I have done before each year. I remind myself as I have each year.. It was never a resolution it was choice to change my life change my lifestyle… Change my habits…. (Please know I feel resolutions are wonderful they often turn in to so much more).
If you read that again I said my a lot!! Maybe people would see that as selfish and well it was!!! It was completely and totally selfish! And I would do it all again the same way if I had to… It took being Selfish to finally get results!!! And please don’t get me wrong… I had mom and wife guilt beyond belief, but it took me to realize I needed to do it For me and take time for me before it actually worked!!!
Sorry. Got a little off track you see the thought of its was never a resolution has been a motto over the last 3 years…. And that will never change!!! My life is so different but the last 365 days have been well crazy, unexpected, expected, hard, full of learning, packed with love, fear, and well just perfectly yet imperfectly amazing….
2015 started with recovering from one of my biggest surgeries ever (triple plastic surgery)but also lead me to 2 major stays in the hospital and 2 additional surgeries.. It was not in the plans but we all know plans fly out the window fast sometimes…. 2015 was no where near perfect and well some days it down right sucked!!!! But even with all the really crappy stuff it was a great year..
I try to take a little from each year as a lesson…. Some lessons easier learned than others…. (Shhh don’t tell anyone I am Stubborn).. This was the year of trying to roll with the punches…. Notice I said trying.. I can’t lie this was the hardest year of trying to cope ever….. No I am not trying to sound like I am Complaining because I know as bad as some days were it could have been much much worse….
I guess the best way I can explain it is when you go through a procedure like I did you are given a “recovery” time and when you get to that point and you are no where close to the end of the “recovery”. You hope and pray it’s just a little bit longer but it seems my little bit longer is forever….. And frustration builds like no other frustration ever!!!! I had many melt downs… A few temper tantrums and probably was not the nicest person at times…. Oh and yeah I withdrew from majority of everyone…. Maybe not the best reaction to each situation but it is what it is…
I had plans , I had goals ……..NONE of which were reached…. For a planner and a goal driven person it’s not an easy pill to swallow to be no where close to any of the hopes you had for 2015…… Please don’t get me wrong 2015 was a great year that just had a few bumps in it… I have a wonderful family the were very supportive and my son, and hubby should be given awards for caring form me during my multiple recoveries…. They were truly awesome. And well are the lights of my life!!! I know I can conquer anything cause they are with me…..
Recently I had started getting back in to a small routine… breaking back in you could say…..after another injury… a SI joint and performs muscle issue…. And getting back is hard…… but looking back at 2015 at times is heartbreaking ….. I do feel I have lost a whole year…. And that has eaten away at me for some time …..But I know there are many years to come and patients is needed but it’s difficult somedays…. But a wise very caring friend said to me on a day I was having a little pity party about not being where I want to be…
“You don’t have as far to go as you came”. And he is right… He also said …”it’s not how you fall, it’s how you get back up” and damn him again he’s right…..
I have come a long way since 2006, hell since 2013…. I know my choice in path may not be everyone’s idea of the “way” to loose weight but guess what…. NOT EVERYONE MATTERS–— BOOM….. That’s right this is my journey and no one else’s… And yes it took me a long time to agree with my friend but damn it he is right!! I have come a LONG WAY!!!! I have said it before and will repeat it over and over …. I believe in fate and I believe in the good lord above… And they both have put the people in my life that need to be there… Why?? Cause either they are here to help and support or they’re here cause they need me to help and support them!! Help get their journey rolling!!!! I have made so many wonderful friends life long friends all who I am blessed to have!! Even with e bumpy road of 2015 I have seen all of these great people rise up and meet me on the road when needed!! I just hope and pray I can do the same for those who need me!!!! My mission has always been to help at least one person….. I pray every day I have done that!! I know the hands that picked me up and I will always offer my hands to help others!!!
No 2015 was not expected to be difficult and I defiantly expected more change in my physicality. But hey every day I opened my eyes and did the best I could with the situation I was in….. Was it all flowers and fireworks ummmmm HELL NO!!!!!! Was it all doom and gloom HELL NO!! It is all about one day at a time..
I have learned to Control the things I can and deal the best with the things I can’t control…. I have learned to appreciate more of the little things… I have learned my frustration can derail me in a heartbeat….. I have experienced some of the most caring kind people in my life and I call them all family and friends….. I have seen support and kindness come from the place I never expected it from… And the people you knew would be there for you were……
2015 wasn’t perfect but it was just the way it was supposed to be… 2016 has lots of promise and I intend of getting everything out of it I can…..
After all the journey continues ….. Because yes
It’s all Part of the process………..