10 years really it’s been 10 years.... I sit here typing wondering how fast time flew by….
10 years ago today I walked in to the hospital knowing this maybe my only chance… If I can’t succeed at this it, is pretty much a Death sentence. I know it sounds dramatic and well it kinda was… I remember standing there with my hubby meeting the Physicians Assistant getting weighed in then the long walk to surgery registration at 5am… The hospital was quiet, the halls were cold, stark and white.. Since that day, I have walked those halls tons of times and never have they felt like they did that day. I knew that day it was the right thing to do the right time… It really felt like slow motion… Yep just like the movies…. Especially playing it back in my head….
Now I sit 10 years later…… Some ask what have you taken from this journey… Or what have I learned…. Well that list is long but I will highlight just a few things that keep me going…
This was not the easy way out — no not matter what any tells you this was not the easy way out!! I have to work just as hard and plan just as much as anyone else trying to lose weight!! Making the choice to have Weight loss surgery *(WLS) was not an easy one, but if you told me I had to fight again for it like I did in 2006 i would in a heart beat!!! But no matter what, if you ever hear any one say WLS is the easy way out hand them my number. I can truly explain the struggle we all got through like anyone else that is trying to get healthy!
A child’s love is like no other — 7 of the 10 years I have had my son.. His life has given me more motivation than ever to stay healthy!!
Sharing my journey was the best thing I ever did – some think I am crazy, others think I do it for attention, but I was scared to death to share 3 years ago I didn’t want to have to defend my choices.. Some days the out pouring of love and support is amazing!! I wanted to share because it was important to help others and I have been so lucky to do that in many many ways!!! I am honored and humbled that people trust me enough to help them with their journey
I look different, but I have not changed – this is the gods honest truth!! With one exception!! I have no problem walking away from people who are negative, no matter how long I have known them… I can’t have that in my life!!
Faith... My goodness if you don’t have Faith forget it!! – my relationship with God gets stronger each day!! I am abundantly blessed!!!
Pray — and then pray more. See above…. keep praying
Jealousy is ugly — I have lost many family members and friends cause they are jealous of my life now….Those who believe in you will stay with you and believe in you NO MATTER WHAT!! – I am Lucky to have many people who stand by me and support this journey but there is one person who has been with since day one 5/30/2006 .. My husband!! Loved Me at 403 pounds and still loves me Today!! Never once did he falter or fail me! Not even for a second. From the day I returned from the hospital, he supported me.. When I couldn’t eat after surgery, he didn’t eat around me out of love and support… Any adventure I wanted to begin he supported it (Look, there have been A FEW!!). Hours at the gym and being my personal chef!! And after plastic surgery the endless care… He really is amazing and I am so lucky!! I would not have been able to have done any of this with out him!!! A lucky as i am with my hubby and all of my supporters, I have seen true Hate and jealousy. People can say nasty things and act completely ignorant if they feel you have something more than they do. When all they really need to do is make choices to make it better. I believe in lifting up others and letting them know you are proud of them because what if you are the only one who ever tells them they are doing well. you could me the difference in them quitting or pushing through a hard time…..
Never look back but never forget!! – looking back will only make you crazy… Believe me, I have asked my self, Why not sooner? Why?? Why did I wait so long to make changes…. Well it’s not for me to ask.. God has a plan and we need to go with it!! But this doesn’t mean forget!! My past is what has made me who I am Today, good and bad!! Being heavy was all part of that… It is all meant to be this way!! Don’t look back, but never forget!!
Nothing is perfect — no matter how hard we try, nothing will be perfect!! Take things for what they are, imperfectly beautiful!!
The hardest thing ever to do is put yourself first – this concept some days still alludes me!! But I know my health is just as important as anyone or anything on this planet
The 2nd hardest is realizing you are worth it – you are, no matter what any one says. You are worth every second spent getting healthy!!
Commitment and dedication are absolutely needed – these are a choice, and when you know you are worth it, the choice is easy!!
FAILURE…well it happens – 10 years is a long time. Over 10 years, I have seen good and bad, had success and oh yes FAILURE… I am proud of both! Yes you read that I am proud of my success but I am just as proud as my Failures!! After losing 130ish pounds I regained 80. It was a kick in the gut.. I cried a lot. I was lost. I felt like I was right back in the beginning, ready to give up!! The weight was my enemy again!!
Without failure, you never see success – Being proud of failures wraps into this. It was not the easy way out… You see, you tell some people you had weight loss surgery and they have this preconceived idea that poof, I was heavy and poof, I was not the day after… Well that’s not how it works… That’s not how any of this works… I can gain just as fast and easy as anyone. And I have, but my failures have taught me many lessons and helped me create more successes!! In failing, I have more appreciation for all the success!
You will fail again and u will survive (see above lol)… This is real life. It happens, you just have to keep swimming!!!
Looking below, you can tell if you are not doing what’s right. You gain just like any other person!! I fight every day to make the best choices I can to remain healthy… And at one point in this 10 years you can see I was not doing the best job… But seeing that re-gain living though it has really made me appreciate the re-loss even more!
This photo is a compass, both failure and success!! It’s a perfect depiction of my last 10 plus years.
The “mental” game is worse than the physical game — this may be harder to explain!! You see …. The “fat” person never leaves. Mentally it’s a battle. No matter my pant size, there are days I see Miss 403 staring at me in the mirror!! Weight Lois surgery doesn’t change the mind you have. You have to do that your self!!
Others think they know what you are going through, but they have no idea!! — Just like with anything, until you have lived my life you really have no idea!! But anyone who has tried tried to lose weight knows what a battle it is!!
I know it’s a long list… But it’s all of the things I keep with me day to day… Some Good, Some Bad… But I needed all of them to get through this journey…
10 years. OH MY!! I have been so blessed over the last 10 years. No it wasn’t easy, but it was ohhh so worth it!! I am excited to see what the next 10 years bring me!
Thank you all
The journey Continues……… After all……
” IT’S ALL PART OF THE PROCESS”
The pictures below are almost 10 years apart. I never took a pic the day of my surgery but the pic on the right is about 1 month (6/2006) after my surgery (34 pounds down already) The pic on the left was take today 5/30/2016, in the exact same spot!!